


knots that i can help undo

by lunaticlua



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Light Angst, inspired by a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23570770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaticlua/pseuds/lunaticlua
Summary: bellamy is having a bad day and clarke is struggling to deal with it.(inspired by dodie's song "bite back")
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Kudos: 15





	knots that i can help undo

**Author's Note:**

> dodie: you should not get emotionally attached to these demo songs that i am releasing on youtube  
> me: gets way too attached and writes a short story inspired by it
> 
> i needed to write this so i did
> 
> song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAAD0usgttc

it’s our first easter together. i don’t know if this is actually an important milestone in a relationship. i am not a big source of knowledge in that matter; after all, you are my first serious partner. however, all of our friends — our family — were here. you’ve made a delicious lunch and i’ve helped you set the table. in silence. no music, no chatter, no humming. even though i’ve spotted your jitteriness when we woke up, i thought it was just a mild apprehension with the prospect of cooking something new for a lot of people.

you were laughing with murphy in the kitchen while you cleaned the dishes. from the living room, i could hear that there were lightness missing in your smile. everyone noticed something wrong between us. raven questioned me when she helped me with the dessert earlier, but i didn’t know what to tell her besides “he woke up weird”. you’ve ignored me throughout the day. you’ve ignored everyone throughout the day. your brief conversation with murphy was the first time i’ve listened you delivering full sentences today. not even octavia’s announce of the date for her college graduation and, afterwards, her ultimatum to everyone to attend was able to make you answer more than “of course, o”.

my mind kept reliving yesterday, searching where things went wrong. we watched a movie cuddled. we shared our week during lunch. we went to the supermarket to pick up the last ingredients for the recipe. it was a good day, yet you woke up weird.

i’ve experienced bad ones with you. you get those sometimes and i understand. at least, i do everything i can to try. it is hard to see you suffering, but, in the end of the day, you always talk to me. you always let me in, even when i was having a hard time letting you into my heart and my mind.today is different and i don’t truly know how to respond it.

it is late when the last person leaves. i decide to sleep on our problems and find courage to deal with it in the morning. i am tired and so are you. nevertheless, you have other plans. while i am getting to bed, you stare at me with your furrowed brows. i can see your tense shoulders when you change from your button up to the tee you like to sleep on. i can see you are struggling to say something.

“you want to talk to me about something, bell?,” i ask with a calm tone. you open and close your mouth repetitively and then give up. i want to help you undo the knots in your back, the lump in your throat, the ache in your heart. “please, talk to me. open up. please, bellamy.”

“forget it, clarke,” you reply harshly with folded arms and get in the bed with your back to me. it is been so long since you called me clarke with bitterness in your voice. i did not know how much this would hurt. this feels like when are going backwards.

i stare the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity or only two minutes and decide to sleep in the couch. your mood got the best of me. i should be the girl who doesn’t care and simply sleeps by the side of the boy she loves who is hurting and, consequently, hurting her. unfortunately, i don’t have this strength.

i suck up the tears forming in my eyes and get up. you don’t follow me and i get disappointed. i was only trying to help you. why do you bite back? why do you not soften to me? questions are unanswered for the day, but i’ll try tomorrow. _i’ll try tomorrow._


End file.
